If the Suit Fits

Newsday x-word 5-6-14

Uniforms. They're everywhere. Some are good (firefighters, police officers, military personnel, sports teams) and some are downright ugly (school uniforms, gym uniforms). It's no wonder that the girls hike those ugly plaid skirts above the knee and accessorize them with Uggs or Doc Martens. It least the footwear gives them some individuality. I do understand why there are uniforms in private schools--to eliminate the class distinction between the haves and the have nots. I remember at Alex's school, the parents took a vote on uniforms. The response was an overwhelming "no."

The worst uniform I ever had to wear was the gym uniform in middle school. It was an ugly one-piece romper with your last name embroidered on the pocket and your first name on the back. They looked like the picture on the right, except ours were grey.

My other nasty uniform was for the Girl Scouts, but at least they were 100% cotton. Today's uniforms are strictly polyester and there are vests and skorts instead of the dresses we had to wear. The vests are for the many badges that a Scout will earn (there are Brownie badges, too!). Girl Scouts are even allowed to wear pants now. This is a good thing because I can't stand skorts.

Then there were the band uniforms. In elementary school, I wore a blue cape over a white blouse and skirt, along with a hat. I looked like a rejected war veteran. In middle school, it was a red jacket and cap with white jeans and a blouse. That wasn't so bad. Then in high school, we were stuck with the garnet polyester jacket and pants, with an overlay. I actually had to show up to games with that geeky uniform. At least we got to wear black skirts and blouses for concerts.

This brings us to the theme today's crossword by Sally R. Stein, which is called "Uniformity":

2A: Persevere (SOLDIER ON). There's something about a man in uniform. :-)
53A: Freeway safety barrier (GUARD RAIL)
10D: Feature of some gas stoves (PILOT LIGHT)
29D: Robin Hood's girlfriend (MAID MARIAN). I've always wished I had a maid like Alice Nelson from "The Brady Bunch." She was funny and didn't seem to work too hard. Even though Carol Brady was a SAHM, I guess Mike didn't have the heart to let Alice go. After all, she was his housekeeper. After a long week at work, I have zero energy to do any housecleaning.

Alphabet soup:

36A: Genetic material, for short (DNA)
41A: Newspaper essay (OPED)
45A: Tax agcy. (IRS)
60A: Helper: Abbr. (ASST)

Please forgive my errors in pen. 1D should be HUTS, 51D should be HERB, 52D should be OREO, and 62D should be AREA.

David Hume

David Hume (1711-1776) is the author of today's cryptoquote:

A purpose, an intention, a design, strikes everywhere, even the careless, most stupid thinker.

I never really heard of David Hume, so I Googled him. Fugly, isn't he? Hume was a Scottish philosopher, historian, economist, and essayist  He was one of the great British empiricists. Empiricism is the theory that knowledge comes primarily from sensual experiences. Hume divided knowledge into two categories: relations of ideas and matters of fact. Our beliefs, he said, are a result of accumulated habits. 

I solved today's JUMBLE before I had a chance to unscramble the word list. The picture is of a man trying to teach his puppy (awww!) to retrieve a stick. The caption reads "The dog thought the idea of retrieving was ______.

Word list: 

CHOAV = HAVOC
PMETT = TEMPT
SUDARI = RADIUS
FEMIDF = MIFFED

Scrambled solution: HCTERADFFE
Solution: FAR-FETCHED

I took my first walk across the Highline for the season (yea!). I was unable to see the view at 30th Street because they are building the ugly Hudson Yards project. They are also working on the final phase of the park, which will extend to the Javitz Center.

When I got back from the gym last night, I watched the season premiere of "Louie,"which returned after a 19-month hiatus. Poor Louie, he never has any luck. In the first episode, he hurt his back while trying to buy a sex toy. Jerry Seinfeld was on the second episode. Louie opened for Jerry at a Hamptons benefit and bombed. However, he got lucky with a model but punched her in the face by accident. He was sued for $10 million and has to pay back $5,000 a month for the rest of his life.

Enjoy the rest of the afternoon! Until tomorrow. . . .

Signing off,
The Puzzlechick