Life According to Homer Simpson

TGIF! We are ending the work week with some great puzzles. First up is Stanley Newman's crossword for today called "Homeric Wit," where the solver has to reveal words of wisdom by that great cartoon icon, Homer Simpson:

18A: Start of a Homer Simpson quote (FACTS ARE)

22A: Part 2 of the quote (MEANINGLESS)

36A: Part 3 of the quote (THEY CAN BE)

54A: Part 4 of the quote (USED TO PROVE)

59A: End of quote (ANYTHING)

I love Homer. Yes, he's overweight, slow-witted, lazy, quick-tempered, and borderline drunk. He is ruled by his impulses. For example, he would gladly sell his soul to the devil for a doughnut, lol. At times, he also seems to neglect his family However, Homer is also a very complex person and I think he truly cares about Marge and the kids. His buffoonish charm is what has kept this show running for over 20 years. 

Word of the day: 15A: Glasses without temples (PINCE-NEZ). I think these were popular in the 19th and early 20th century. Thank G-d glasses are more comfortable these days.

Alphabet soup:

1D: Interest meas. (PCT)

7D: UV-Blocking stat (SPF)

8D: World Factbook producer (CIA)

9A: Small-business mag (INC)

34A: Schedule placeholder (TBA)

52A: Big wheel, briefly (CEO)

65D: Night-school subj. (ESL)

The name game:

1A: Lisa on Friends (PHOEBE)

22D: Voice of Bugs and Daffy (MEL)

27D: 007 before Roger (SEAN)

I'll drink to that:

4D: Resort on Lake Geneva (AVIAN)

41D: Circles around moons (CORONAS)

66D: Edible grass (RYE)

Our writing theme continues in the daily cryptoquote. Today's quote is by Terry Pratchett (b. 1948):

There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write.

Discworld

Ouch! Is that a little dig on our screenwriters? Anyway, I had to look up Terry Pratchett to see who he is. He is an author of mainly fantasy novels, and I'm not a big fan of that genre. Pratchett is best known for the Discworld comic novel series, which often parodies the styles of writers such as Tolkien, Shakespeare, Lovecraft. In Discworld, Pratchett also satirizes social, cultural, political, and scientific issues. 

Today's JUMBLE was a tough one. The caption shows two zookeepers with a pachyderm. The caption reads "Whether or not the zoo's new pachyderm was from Africa or Asia was _____.

Word list:

UDELL = ELUDE

REMHY = RHYME

FENTIC = INFECT

PLURBA = BURLAP

I had trouble with the last two words.

Scrambled solution: ELERHINTRAP

Solution: IRRELEPHANT

Not a bad pun for today. My favorite ima ge of a pachyderm was the elephant vacuum cleaner used on "The Flintstones."

Wilma Flintstone

That's all for today. Tribeca FF continues tomorrow with a movie about the Knicks' golden years of the '70s, along with a series of shorts on Sunday.

Till tomorrow. . . .

Signing off,

The Puzzlechick

Video Thursday!

Since I'm feeling lazy today, I've decided it's Video Thursday! Today's puzzle by S.N. (aka Stanley Newman) is called  "Nounsense." Sit back and enjoy!


17A: Hotshot (IMPORTANT PERSON). Does anyone remember a series of shorts they showed during the 70s called "The Most Important Person?" These shorts included lessons on topics from hearing to multiculturalism. I've posted one of the shorts below. This one's called "Oops, I Mad a Mistake!" It's corny but it serves its purpose.

18A: Seemingly everywhere (ALL OVER THE PLACE). In 1984, The Bangles released an album by the same name. Although the album was not a commercial success, it contained some great songs. Here's my favorite, "Going Down to Liverpool." It features the one and only Leonard Nimoy:

I hear the Bangles are back and touring this year.

60A: Argument extender (AND ANOTHER THING). Well, I couldn't find a video that corresponded with this answer, but here's a cute stamp by the stationery company Knock Knock:

All the NBC sitcoms ("The Office", "Community", "Up All Night", and "Parks & Recreation" are on tonight. It's almost time to sit back and get comfy.


Till tomorrow. . . .


Signing off,
The Puzzlechick

Who's Minding the Store?

Happy Monday!

Today's puzzle by Gail Grabowski is called "What's in Store?" Here are the theme answers:

20A: One doing blackjack arithmetic (CARD COUNTER). Of course, when one thinks of counting cards, we think of that famous casino scene from the movie "Rain Man."

38A: Official Journal of the United States (FEDERAL REGISTER). I am all too familiar with this journal, which contains most routine publications of the U.S. Federal Government. I work on a product that provides SEC updates and annotations. We are at the mercy of the Federal Register for effective dates and other changes.

52A: Attorney's closing statement (I REST MY CASE). No explanation necessary here.


News from Cyberspace:

Elementary, my dear Watson: Remember when that nasty computer beat the human contestants on Jeopardy last year? This year's ACPT will have a new contestant, a computer named Dr. Fill. Read more about it here.

Wanna know Who's Who of Cruciverbalists (that's a fancy word for Crossword aficionados)? You can find all the names on Best for Puzzles. Did you know that Stanley Newman uses two secret pseudonyms when he constructs crosswords? They are "Sally R. Stein" and "Anne Stiga". The letters are rearragned to spell something pertinent. Find the answer here.

It's also a well-known fact that doing crossword puzzles helps with one's memory during the aging process. Here's an article from The Aiken Standard.

What's an anagrind? Will it become an acceptable term in the latest crossword puzzle dictionary? Hugh Stephenson from The Guardian voices his opinion.

Here's an excellent article about the ACPT from Saturday's Newsday (note: you have to pay to subscribe to this newspaper).

That's all the news for today. Till tomorrow. . . .

Signing off,
The Puzzlechick

Talking Shop

It's been four days since we stopped getting Newsday and I miss doing the puzzles on paper! I know apps are the wave of the future, but they're just not the same. More importantly, I miss my cryptoquote. :-(

Today's puzzle is by our esteemed editor Stanley Newman and it's called "Shopping Sites." Theme answers were cute puns:

20A: Educational Toy Shop for Patrons? (BABY BLOOMERS). OMG, I remember wearing baby bloomers over my cloth diapers. Once Pampers were invented, my mom never looked back. She started on them with my brother Mark.

38A: Where to buy a Maid Marion bouquet? (SHERWOOD FLORIST). I Googled "Sherwood Florist" and it's a very popular name for a flower shop.

54A: Wares at a "green" window store? (NATURAL GLASS). There are many types of natural glass, which are found in deserts. Here is Libyan desert glass, which has very pretty color. If you have the real thing, you can get as much as $500 for it.

I just finished a book of Irish-themed puzzles published by the company Pocket Posh. The book consisted of crosswords, word searches, codewords, and criss-cross puzzles. For many of the puzzles, I had to rearrange the shaded letters to for the final answer. Of course, having never been to Ireland, I had to look up a lot of these answers.  I figured they would get me ready for ACPT on St. Patrick's Day.

It's a gloomy Friday here in NYC. Sorry to be short today, but it's back to the salt mines.

Till tomorrow. . . .

Signing off,
The Puzzlechick

Bad Hair Day

Punxsutawney Phil

Mayor Bloomberg with
Staten Island Chuck

Happy Groundhog Day! Punxsutawney Phil, the most well-known groundhog in America, saw his shadow, which means six more weeks of winter. However, Phil's rival (and my local groundhog), Staten Island Chuck, did not. I'm going with Chuck! 




Today's puzzle is by Stan the Man himself. It's called "Hair Apparent" and you guessed it, it's about well-known people with BIG hair! Drumroll, please. . . .

19A: Giant of theoretical physics: ALBERT EINSTEIN (who else?). Experts say that Albert Einstein (1879-1955) may have had Asperger's Syndrome. Although he excelled in math and physics, he was a loner and often repeated sentences as a young child. If nobody turned up to his lectures, he would go on talking anyway. Listen to Einstein explain his famous Theory of Relativity (E=MC2):

36A: Raucous-laugh comedienne: PHYLLIS DILLER (b. 1917). Never one of my favorite performers, but she's still going strong at age 94! Thanks to extensive plastic surgery, she looks much better now than she did 50 years ago (see below).

55A: The View moderator: WHOOPI GOLDBERG (b. 1955). I had the pleasure of seeing the comedian Judy Gold interview this comedy icon at the 92nd Street Y. Both women were very entertaining. Unfortunately, I fell asleep during the interview, and we were sitting in the front row. That was a bit embarrassing. Her one big regret in life was that she never got to spend a birthday with Sammy Davis, Jr. Whoopi's biggest inspiration is Nichelle Nichols, who played Uhura on "Star Trek." Nichols was the first black woman she saw on TV who didn't play a maid. And yes, she used to date Ted Danson. I never figured out that one!

Today's cryptoquote is by George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950):

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it cease to be serious when people laugh.

A bit verbose, but such wise words! I've laughed at funerals because those making eulogies are remembering good things about the deceased. Often, they have funny stories to share.

Shaw was best known as a playwright (more than 60 plays). His most famous, of course, is Pygmalion, from which the classic musical My Fair Lady was adapted. Shaw was also a founder of the London School of Economics. For more information about GBS's life and works, see The Shaw Society Web site.

In gossip news, Demi Moore is pursuing Zac Efron? Hasn't she learned from her disastrous marriage to Ashton? Leslie Carter, Aaron and Nick's sister, died suddenly and mysteriously at age 25.

Finally, I am outraged that the Susan G. Komen foundation pulled its funding from Planned Parenthood. It's a step backward for women by about 40 years. Mayor Mike has stepped in and will make up for the loss. At least he did something right.

Till tomorrow. . . .

Signing off,
The Puzzlechick

Double-Quote Friday

After a couple of days of gorgeous weather, it's pouring today. :-(

In addition to the daily cryptoquote, today's crossword (by Stan "The Man" Newman), features a famous quote by Mark Twain:

20A: Start of a Mark Twain Quote (HISTORY DOES NOT).
38A: Part 2 of quote (REPEAT)
40A: Part 3 of quote (ITSELF)
58A: End of quote (BUT IT DOES RHYME).

I've always been a history buff, and lately, I've become interested in the history of my own city. Social media has made it easy to access old photos and other ephemera. I find it sad that only 20% of U.S. middle-school students (source: National Assessment of Educational Progress) are proficient in their knowledge of their own history. For example, most students knew who Abraham Lincoln was, but they didn't know why he was an important president. Many students do not know the three branches of our government and what their functions are. And these are our future voters? A knowledge of history is a must for our young people because they need to learn from lessons of the past.

And on that note, I leave you with the classic video of "History Never Repeats" by Split Enz.

Today's cryptoquote by Thomas Szasz is very simple and straightfoward:

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."

Well, I was so tired that I turned in at 9:00 and missed "Project Runway." I heard that Oliver was "auf'd" Good! I'm glad he's gone . . . he did not like dressing people who didn't have perfect figures. Hello!?! About 60% of women in this country are size 12 and over!!

It's an all-museum weekend for us. Details to come!

Signing off,

The Puzzlechick

Double Quote Day

Today we were treated to two quote puzzles, the usual cryptoquote and the crossword puzzle. The cryptoquote was much easier to solve today. It's by the writer Isaac Bashevis Singer (1902-1991):

"We have to believe in free will. We have no choice."

Singer was known for his short stories, particularly The Family Moskat, Gimpel the Fool, and of course, Yentl the Yeshiva Boy. The latter was made into a movie starring Barbra Streisand. It was also quite controversial because it dealt with transvestism. Here is the divine Miss Streisand singing "Papa Can You Hear Me?"

Most of Singer's stories were in Yiddish and was a regular contributor to The Forward. Gimpel the Fool was his first collection of short stories. I remember reading them during my days at the Workman's Circle school in East Meadow. His most famous novel, Enemies A Love Story (about Holocaust survivors) was also adapted into a popular movie.

Today's crossword puzzle was called "Wait for It" by Stanley Newman. Sections of the quote appear in 20 Across, 34 Across, and 57 Across:

"Most overnight successes took a long time."

The source of the crossword puzzle quote is Steve Jobs (45 Across). You have to be living under a rock not to know who he is. Here is Jobs's original business card from 1979.

I had the original Macintosh SE when I worked at Garland Publishing. Yes, folks, I learned on a Mac. I liked the Mac because you didn't need a degree in engineering to work it. We've come a long way since then. There is the Performa, the original colorful iMac, the Mac Notebook, not to mention all iPod and the iPad! You can view the complete history of Apple.

On a more serious note, thoughts and prayers are for Steve Jobs as he has survived pancreatic cancer and a liver transplant. Every time he takes a medical leave, Apple stocks dip.

I did lots of shopping for my friend Diane's Mad Hatter party next week. I bought a Coach bag at a consignment store for $49. Then I bought some jewelry at Filene's Basement for $20. After dinner, I hiked up to Macy's and bought an open cardigan for $14. I love open cardigans--no worries about gaping buttons!

Good night all . . . till tomorrow. . .

Signing off,
The Puzzlechick

The Medium is the Message

Newsday's Friday puzzles and crytoquotes are a bit more challenging than during the week, and today was no exception.

Today's Cryptoquote reads: "Control over change would seem to consist in moving not with it but ahead of it."--Marshall McCluhan. Who the heck is he?

Marshall McCluhan (1911-1980) was a Canadian philosopher and scholar and a pioneer in the study of media theory. He was responsible for coining the phrases "The medium is the message" and "the global village." The Medium is the Message is also the name of the best-selling book McCluhan published in 1967. He saw the media as extensions of our bodies and our minds. Man's views of the world were changed by the adoption of new media, particularly television. With the latter term, McCluhan predicted the Internet 30 years before its existence.

The crossword was authored by "S.N.", the initials of Newsday crossword editor Stanley Newman. Today's theme was "Where's the Beast?"

Theme answers:

20A: Treacherous one: SNAKE IN THE GRASS (also a shady conniving person). I know many snakes in the grass, LOL.
36A: Sure thing: BIRD IN THE HAND (Moral: It's better to to have a small real advantage than the possibility of a greater one.)
53A: Orator's annoyance: FROG IN THE THROAT (The origin of this phrase came from an advertisement for some medicine: "The Taylor Bros. say that 'Frog in the Throat' will cure hoarseness. 10 cents and box." Source: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/143825.html).

One clue that stumped me was 6D: X-Ray Discoverer. The answer was Wilhelm ROENTGEN. Here is an excellent account regarding his discovery of the x-ray.

http://www.bl.uk/learning/artimages/bodies/xray/roentgen.html

* * * *

Today's News:

Tomorrow is the apocalypse. Several of my Facebook friends have made funny comments about the Rapture and looting.

Pete Doherty (from Babyshambles) gets 6 months in jail for drug possession.

Wrestler Randy Savage was killed in a car crash earlier today. He suffered a heart attack and lost control of his vehicle.

For beer lovers everywhere: because of a shortage in grain production, the price keeps going up. :-(

We're now on five days in a row with the rainy weather. Sigh!

Till tomorrow

Signing off,
The Puzzlechick